I could hear myself conjuring up a response in my head. ‘Of course I will be trying be on my best behavior and do as much as I can with you two….’ I wanted to say.
Then I thought for a moment and said, ‘Know what? I’m going to do a special mummy calendar where I’m going to remind myself to be 100x nicer to you two and papa’.
‘It might take me a few days to make one up, but I promise to do it soon’, I added.
So I got down to making my very own Ramadhan Calendar with one of my personal goal – To enhance my relationship with the people closest to me.
I ruminated whether to share this post or not. But I clearly remember the hazy days when both of my kids were little and how I would’ve been so grateful for someone to provide me with a fresher look on things so I’d feel inspired and encouraged to do more….
The ‘more’ here is a variable. It’s very unique. ‘The more’ that you can do. Whether it’s current actions performed with a refreshed zeal or new ideas added to take things up a notch.
It’s not meant to overwhelm anyone. But just offer inspiration, so in our own ways, with the situations Allah SWT has blessed us with, we can continue to strive to make the most of this month inshA
The calendar is not all about them . I’ve found places to squeeze in some things just for me – for only when I have something in my own cup, can I re-fill theirs.
So here are some short random reminders to help me be the mummy Allah may be pleased with inshA.
Get kids on my lap and recite Qur’an.
Even if it’s as little as Suratul Kawther.
Kiss them much after reciting and tell them how happy and full I feel when Allah SWT has talked to me and it helps me be even more loving towards them.
Father’s Day! Take a long look at M. Think about how wonderful a father he is. What would I do without him?
Recite Salaatul Waalidayn with the kids for my own dad and grandparents.
And maybe an extra Tasbih as Shukr for all His blessings upon me
Look at their baby pictures and clips. Recite the short Dua for children by Ali Zainul Abideen.
Recite an extra Tasbih for Allah to be like more like B. Fatima (sa)
Do some rubberband parenting today! Watch their expressions and *always* remember how words of affirmation make them feel. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat
Recite this Dua for my own parents and by the blessing, ask the Almighty to always keep my own kids close to Him and me, guide them when they err and pray that one day they pray for us too.
Can I be like more like Lady Khadija (as) who trekked a mountain to bring her husband food. Everyday.
Can I be more supportive with his decisions? Trust and love unconditionally even when I may not fully understand why.
It will save me hearing the oft-repeated ‘I told you so…’
Listen to this again! Take notes. Make some small changes.
Sit down and recite Hadithe Kisa together as a family.
Alhamdulillah! Do an extra long sajda and just thank Him, without asking for anything
Call or text a friend. Make their day!
Feed the birds and the squirrels. Water the plants. Walk barefeet on the grass. Do some gardening. Take it all in. Hmmm…Doesn’t talking about it already make you feel better? Now remember how connecting to nature makes you calmer. Do it more often
So much to learn from I.Hassan (as) – interpersonal skills, intrapersonal skills and effective communication, especially with the wudhoo incident. Find ways to respectfully correct the kids today. Use positive talk. Remember connecting words from Teach Through Love
Say yes! It’s Friday, even the Almighty keeps His doors open today, who am I to close them? Say yes to the one more story. The one more kiss. The one more holler of ‘Mummy…’
Start prepping for Laylatul Qadr. Wash the Salaat garments, make a plan of how and what to recite. Get head into gear and get organized.
Ask for forgiveness. From husband, kids, parents, extended family, and friends. Plead and beg them to forgive.
Hug and cuddle, tell them stories about I. Ali (as). He had said to people, ‘Saluni, Saluni, Kabla antafkidhuni’ – ‘Ask me, ask me, before I’m not more here’ – Fantasize with the kids living in I.Ali (as)’s time. What would we ask him? Get a discussion going…
Sadness engulfs. It hurts. Write an Areeza to I.Mahdi (af), to find comfort in this grief.
Read I.Ali (as)’s letter to I.Hassan. How can I change/shift/adapt my parenting to be more like my Mawla Ali (as)
Don’t make them wait! Respond to their calls quickly – that 3rd cup of water or the bathroom call while in the middle of something. I’ll hasten to their call and pray hard that the Almighty hastens to my ‘Ood’oonee’s’ tonight and every night. Each one of them inshA
Recite Ya Nooru, many many times. Let Allah’s light enter into the house, into the rooms, into the hearts.
Read Qur’an. Read other books. Read to them. Read with them. Let them read to me. Take a nap together after reading.
Do Astaghfar first. After that, dream of Jannah with the kids.
Put their little hands against mine, how small are they? How small were they? Rub their backs. Watch them fall asleep
Reassurance: He sees everything. And rewards it. Nothing is ever lost. All my efforts, the night feeds, the explanations, the mediating….everything!
Indeed, Allah does not do injustice, [even] as much as an atom’s weight; while if there is a good deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward. (S. Nisa : 4)
Look at myself in the mirror. How perfectly created am I? May he make my inside as beautiful as he has made me on the outside. Recite Ya Jameelu lots of times
(Being thankful of how Allah made me, so my kids will do the same)
Recite ‘Amma Yujibu’ and S.Feel for those oppressed. Make some goals where I can do my bit and make a difference . Pray for to the Almighty to hasten the reappearance of I.Mahdi (af) for the heart-breaking suffering to end
“As for the Muttaqqeens, they will be among gardens and rivers”
“In a seat of honour, close to the King, The Perfect”
(S.Al Qamar: 54-55)
Rabbana Taqabbal Innaka Antas Sameeul Aleem